Monday, November 09, 2009

Kind of Frustrated

My hubby tells me that I'm being silly. My best friend tells me that I did good. Maybe I am being silly and I'm trying hard to be sensible. But it is sooo hard -to work for so long at the one thing (apart from the important things in life like Mother and Wife) I REALLY want to be good at, only to screw it up when it counts. I know that when I am alone, I am actually quite good. I am not what I want to be yet, but I am making real progress. I can see it. But every time I get in front of other people, it falls apart. It's a good thing that I am a stubborn, determined little buger. I hate being mediocre - crappy; especially when I've worked so hard, I want so much to be good, and I (only I, no one else has ever heard me play like I can - except for my kids) know that I can do it. Would it be too much to ask for everyone at the Stake Christmas Program to turn around, plug their ears and hum? Oh well, it was only a practice. I've got several weeks to practice yet. "I think I can. I think I can!"

Okay, I need to get a grip and get back to work. I'll probably delete this post. Sorry for being glum. You can ignore me if you want.


lizS said...

it's totally okay to be frustrated. and the only way to get over stage fright is to do it over and over and over until you get numb to it. right? um, sure...;P

Laurie Von said...

being human is a good thing. u can only improve from there huh? its all good.

guppygirl said...

I will sympathize with you Cuz :) I had to give a performance of sorts this week and feel like a bumbled through it. Only mine is immortalized and not just practice, lol. You'll do just great! Hugs!