The Trouble With Books

I was feeling under the weather yesterday, so I spent most of the day in bed. I figured this was a good time to read the last book in the Hunger Games series. Ugh! See, I love books, but I almost NEVER read them manually. I do all of my "reading" with audio books, borrowed from our great library system, while I cook and clean my kitchen.

The trouble with reading books is mainly because I loathe myself if I sit still long enough to actually read a book. It feels like pure laziness. True, I could replace my nightly 10 minutes of TV watching, after the kids go to bed, but I don't really think that would work. I can't generally manage to keep my eyes open for longer than 10 minutes at the end of the day, so it would take me an eternity to finish a book that way, and I'm just not that patient when it comes to finding out what happens in a good book.

When I do pick up a good book, I go through a real internal battle. My brother John told me I'm nuts, and maybe I am. First I get mad at myself for doing nothing productive, but at the same time, I can't put it down. Then I get madder at myself, so I want to finish it just to get my life back in order. My house falls to chaos, more self loathing follows, I boar through it and count how many stupid pages left till I finish the stupid book every 10 minutes. It's like a virus ~ the only thing to do is bear with it till it's done. In the end, I resent the book for even existing, even if it was a good book.

Anyhow, I felt mostly better today, but that stupid book had it's hooks in me so I had to get it over with. I've spent two whole days reading a book that really was just depressing and I didn't really like the ending after all. It was like this: depressing, more depressing ... hopeless depressing... when will the depressingness ever end...30 pages left and no end to the depressingness... 10 pages left, still depressing... 5 pages and still depressing... the last two pages do a quick, totally inadequate, sum up of a happy ending, without giving you any real details whatsoever, to a three book series of nothing but depressingness. It was a total let down.

What a waste of two days! That is why I am an audio book fiend.

Living Room Floor General

We've had a busy weekend. Our family went camping with my parents on Friday. We had a really good time. When we got home on Saturday, Ross, Mark and Lydia were in charge of the unpacking while I did a lot of sewing to finish Halloween costumes. Then Bruce and the kids went to Trunk or Treat with their cousins. I was exhausted and not feeling very well, so I opted to stay at home and enjoy a RARE couple of hours of quiet.

When everyone came home, it was time for showers and bed. Bruce laid down on the living room floor and fell fast asleep. However, he kept trying to run things even in his sleep. He kept half waking up and shouting at the house in general "Who's in the shower?! Who's turn is it in the shower?! Get in there quick and take a shower!"

He did it like five or six times. It was pretty funny when he kept it up for hours after the kids had been in bed. "Hey Ross, hurry up and get in the shower!"

"Bruce, the kids have been in bed for a couple of hours."

Sleeping Arrangements and Toilet Monsters

All of my children have their own beds, but Lydia is the only one who regularly sleeps in hers. Strange children. Ross and Mark prefer to sleep upstairs in Justice and Clayton's room. I don't really know why. Perhaps because this is where I read to the younger kids and they just like the togetherness? The older three are into chapter books and are never reading the same ones, so they just read to themselves at bed time. It's not like they are there to hear me read the little kids' things.

Anyway, there is a futon mattress on the floor of Justice and Clayton's room. I've pretty much given up on ever putting it away. They just get it out again. Generally, all four boys sleep on that, although Ross occasionally sleeps on Justice's bed. Clayton has decided to absolutely refuse to sleep in his crib. I guess I need to get him a big boy bed too, but what is the use?

The other night, after reading a story or two, I laid down with them to snuggle for a few minutes. Mark was snuggled up to my back and Justice, Clayton and the dog kept trying to all snuggle my front side simultaneously (Are you impressed? I spelled "simultaneously" correctly without the spell checker). They kept hopping over each other to squeeze in between their sibling and myself. I constantly had one boy or the other crying. I couldn't help but giggle a little. Then I gave up and went downstairs.

I know it's not a good thing to start, but the puppy seems to be a permanent fixture in our bed. I warned Bruce about this. When she grows up and is a big dog, she will hog all of the room. Not to mention how awful it will be if she does like Chloe did when she becomes elderly and gets a leaky bladder. Chloe did not sleep in our bed. However, Bruce continued to undermine me and let that dog in our bed. If we ever decide to put a stop to it, we are going to have a rough time of it now.

It's three a.m. and I have no where to sleep. Justice, Clayton and the dog have all migrated into our bed and now there is no room left for me. I suppose there are plenty of unoccupied beds around the house that I could go and curl up in.

One more thing: Earlier Justice told me an amusing little tidbit of information. "Did you know that if you sit on the toilet too long, it wakes up and goes (in a deep growly voice) 'NUM NUM NUM,' and eats you up?"

"Really, where did you hear that?"

"Ross told me. He said that those two things in the back are eyes (the bolts that hold on the seat), and the thing you sit on is its mouth."

If I have to re-potty train Justice, Ross is in BIG trouble! However, Justice doesn't really seem all that worried about it. Merely amused.

Do Other People's Kids Do This Stuff, Or Is It Just Mine?

I had to rescue Clayton (2 yr old) from his perch alongside Justice (4 yr old) on top of my clothes rack in my closet. They were both sitting on the bar that I hang my clothes on, six feet in the air. WTFREAK?!

Quotes of the Week

Both by Justice:

To his cousin, Erik: "Jesus doesn't want you to make a mess!"

Hollered in the door: "Mark! Hurry up and come outside! Ross is going to hit you with a bat!"

What Happens When Your Husband Leaves You Home Alone With Your Brothers and a Bunch of Kids

You Might Have Kids If

You open the computer desk drawer where you keep your home office supplies only to find a half eaten tortilla in there.

Yesterday a Monkey, Today a Cat

I walked into my kitchen to see my four year old relaxing on top of the cabinets, inches from the ceiling.

"I'm a cat, because cats know how to get up here."

Actually, I'm pretty sure that my cat does not know how to climb up there. If Lydia (my oldest) had tried this stunt when she was Justice's age, I probably would have had a heart-attach. But as it is, I just laughed and asked if he needed help getting down, as I walked back into the other room.

"No, I can do it." was his reply. And he did get down unassisted without any trouble.

Oh and yesterday when I asked Clayton (2 year old) what he wanted for lunch, I swear it sounded like he said "Eat bugers." I had to ask him to repeat it three or four times, and I never did figure it out.

Monkey

As I was making dinner last night, Justice was playing his game of climbing in and out of the window.

"Justice, stop that and shut the window!" says I.

"I'm a monkey, and monkeys can jump out of windows." says Justice as he is going for another round.

"Monkeys can have spankings too!" I holler at his disappearing backside.

"I'm not a monkey anymore!" says Justice as he runs off into the other room.

DUH!

I've slightly modified the new puppy's name. She is now Alastor, still Ally (alley) for short. I can't believe it took me this long to figure out her perfect name. If I could just get her to figure out that pooping an peeing in my house is a bad thing, she would be perfect.

What else has been going on? Right now Lydia and Bruce are sleeping off the effects of the 24 hour run. Lydia participated in a thing at her school where they had relay teams that ran for 24 hours straight. Bruce chaperoned overnight. They had a good time, but now they are tired.

Ross and Mark are in the backyard rolling down the hill, wrapped up in those thin foam pads that you sleep on top of when you go camping. I can't think of the proper word. I love watching them playing outside with the puppy bouncing and pouncing happily on everything in sight.

Yesterday they got a furniture dolly out of the back of Bruce's truck and took turns pulling each other down the street on their bikes.
I'm adding Ally to my picture project. It's hard to get her to stand still for the camera though.
This picture cracks me up. Justice was in the act of stomping on that big block of styrofoam, and just happened to fall right as I was clicking the camera.