A Couple of Ross Things That Made Me Smile

Ross is my funny boy. He makes me laugh everyday. Today I dropped him and Mark off at school, and Ross wanted to show me his Gallon Man. Everyone in the class had made a Gallon Man (a guy with a big square labeled "gallon" for a body, smaller ones for the arms and legs labeled "quart" then smaller ones labeled "pint" etc.) Anyway, I didn't need the label or Ross to tell me which one that my son had made. His was the one with the scary face, and lots of pointed teeth that were chomping up a screaming man. -So weird.

Here's a poem that he wrote in school a few days ago:

I Can't Write A Poem

I gave my desk to a whale,

My chair is Ross proofed,

I ate my pencil,

My face is glued to the floor,

and I'm bored.

The Kitchen Remodel is Back On

I stalled out big time on the kitchen project, and I didn't post any pictures because I wasn't liking the paint that I picked out. I'm terrible at interior decorating! Notoriously awful! I can't tell what a thing is going to look like before I put it up at all. Once it's up, I can tell you if I like it or not, but I have to mess up a few times to find something I even think is acceptable. I always have to paint rooms at least twice, because the first time is usually bad. Once I spent a few days making new curtains for my kitchen (which, like the rest of my house has lots of big windows) only to put them up and realize that I had created the singularly most ugly curtains in creation. If only you knew. They were SERIOUSLY Delores Jane Umbridge UGLY UGLY UGLY. I had no clue until I put them on my windows and then realize that I had committed a huge travesty!

So anyway, I did it again with my paint. It wasn't as bad as those horrid curtains, but I didn't like it. So I lost all interest in my new kitchen, and I stalled out big time. Well I just repainted, and I think I like it this time. Now we just have to put up a new ceiling, new lighting, trim, and a couple of small filler cabinets (You'll understand when you see the gaps in the pic). Here's how it's looking. What do you think? Really I want to know. You are talking to the design challenged, so any input would be greatly appreciated.

I painted this one small wall around the cabinets, and the door to my basement this dark blue to give it a punch and to pull out the color in my back splash.

I painted the rest of the room this gold. It's the same color that's in my living room and piano room. I figured it was safe because I already knew I liked that color. Plus it goes well with my floor, I think.

My Funny Kids

Ross and Mark were both Students of the Month in December, hence they got their pictures in the district newspaper. Just about every kid in the world gets to be Student of the Month at sometime or another, but what makes me post this is the pictures in the paper. Can you guess which are my kids?

Hint mine are the ones in the top left hand corners with the psycho looks on their faces.

It reminds me of this caption that was written on the back of a picture of me and my cousins. I was of course pulling a weird face. I still don't know who wrote the caption.

It also reminds me of this picture that I took of Ross in his kindergarten Christmas program. He's the one rolling his eyes, sticking out his tongue and waving his arms around.

More Justice

I'm breaking my semi-vow-to-myself. I've been repressing the urge to report all of the Justice things that go on around here. For one, it sounds like complaining (though usually by the time it makes it to the blog, I just think it's funny) for another thing, I think maybe I'm creating a monster. I quit pulling out the camera to take a picture of every disaster. (I think it gives him the idea that it's funny (even if I think it is sometimes-we don't want Justice to think it's funny). The Sprayer Prank has had a bad influence on Justice. He loves to watch that video over and over. The problem is that now he has discovered the sprayer. I came in the kitchen the other day to find him standing in the sink giving the entire kitchen a shower and a bath in one. There was a puddle literally all the way across the entire kitchen - LOTS of water!

Last week, our heater quit working. After some inspection, Bruce figured out that it had something to do with a pressure thing, so it must be a broken switch thing. (He could tell you more accurately than I can.) He found a way to circumnavigate the switch, and make the heater come on, so we spent a couple of days going down to the basement to manually turn on the heater every couple of hours. When the new part came in, Bruce installed it. The heater still didn't work. More investigation followed. The problem? Well, there was absolutely nothing wrong with the heater, or the switch at all. Justice had put a big rock in the exhaust pipe outside, partially blocking the airflow. I know it was Justice, because I've caught him doing it before; those decorative rocks right there are so tempting, and fit so nicely in that pipe right there at his height. I'm just glad we didn't call out a repairman, and have to pay him $100 or so for him to take a rock out of our exhaust pipe!

My Pancreas

My pancreas attracts every other pancreas
in the universe with a force
proportional to the product of their masses

and inversely proportional
to the distance between them!

Recent Videos From My House

Check out my 2 yr old using the computer.

Sunbeam

So yes, not the most reverent version of "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam." We are part of the reason that this song sometimes gets banned from Primary Singing time, I'm afraid. (Please ignore the horrible singing!)

Men are Funny!

In general, I think Bruce gets a bit of a bad rap here on the blogosphere. In spite of his more than the usual dose of testosterone, he is a really good husband. He's always doing little things just for me, that most people don't know about. (Okay, I'm going to admit it: I read all of the Twilight series. There, are you all happy! I thought they were mostly good. It irritated the poop out of me to have to read a book manually. My house got messy, which makes me grouchy. I felt like a lazy dog for sitting around reading a book. I hated myself, which makes me grouchy. Also I did have a problem with the near sex scenes, and the fact that he was sneaking into her room at night. I should have quit reading the stupid books right then, but like the pathetic person that I am, I kept on. I am actually ashamed that I finished them. That made me hate myself even more. More grouchiness. Bruce should get an award just for putting up with me!) Anyway, Emmett's personality is VERY much like my Bruce. I think SM must have been spying on Bruce when she dreamed Emmett up.

Anyway the thing I was getting to is this: about a week ago, Bruce was hanging some cabinets in the basement. His project got put on hold because his drill broke or something. So here he was in the kitchen looking for something useful to do. I suggested that he should hang up the clock that he had bought to put in the kitchen.

"I can't. My drill isn't working."

"Why do you need a drill for that?!" It is just a regular sized wall clock. There is no need to make a huge hole in the wall to anchor the thing down. "Just knock in a nail."

So Bruce goes out to the garage to get a hammer and a nail. He comes back in with one of those gigantic 3 inch long nails that are used to go through 2x4s to keep walls in place. I balked at that too. (Aren't I a bit of a harpy.) It just struck me as rather Tim Taylorish. "Here, let me put a hole in the wall the size of a football field just to hold up a little wall clock. It certainly won't go anywhere!"

Sorry for the ribbing Bruce, it was funny. I love you bunches and think you are the bestest!

Is The Glass Half Full or Half All Over My Table?

Justice is at this stage where he is fiercely independent, or at least trying to be. It can be extremely frustrating at times, especially if I'm in a hurry. I'm learning to just let him do the things he can by himself (even if they take forever). It's easier and better for both of our tempers to not fight him. Say if I'm in a hurry to leave the house, and he wants to put on his own shoes, I'll let him do it and just walk away and get myself ready, rather than fight with him because I could do it faster. That just makes him mad and he'll take his shoe off so he can put it on himself, which makes me mad. The other day he wanted to pour his own glass of milk. The jug was about 3/4 full, so he would have spilled it all over. I insisted on at least helping him. We fought over who got to have the superior hand grip. (It's silly all the dumb things I fight this 2 year old over!) In the end we poured the cup together, and spilled about as much on the table. "See!" we both said at the exact same time. I laughed. To me, I was right, because we had spilled the milk. To him, we had succeeded, because we did get a goodly portion into the cup. I had to admit that he did have a point.

Brrharroom Cubscouts!

I've got 4 boys and 18 years left. I guess I'd better get used to it.

Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Afternoon

I was just undecorating our Christmas Tree, and I figured out why our dog has been sniffing the thing lately. No, she isn't crazy about the pine smell. I found the fossilized remains of somebody's lunch meat sandwich hiding in it's branches, just out of her reach.

Where the Ruddy Heck are Mark's Shoes?!!

A couple of months ago I bought Mark a new pair of Skechers tennis shoes. I got them for around $35-40 on sale. Yes, that might sound like a lot to spend on kids' shoes, but I've realized that quality shoes hold up much longer to the beating my children put them through. Walmart shoes just don't last long. I find that I actually spend less money in the long run if I just buy good shoes. Here's the problem, he lost them! The last time I saw them was over a month ago, the day of my last race, when John and his kids were here. We made a HUGE epic mess of my house, cleaned it up, and I haven't seen Mark's shoes since. It's driving me crazy. I'm going to tear my house up stem to stern till I find those bugers. (I'm about halfway there already.) Here's my question: John, did you accidentally take home Mark's shoes? They were in my piano room by you guys' stuff last time I saw them. They are black Skechers with a single strap across the top. I believe these are them: I want them back! Find them or I will kidnap your firstborn, boil your intestines in brine, follow you around plucking out your nose hairs one by one, dye your hair bubble gum pink in your sleep, dress you in drag and make you sing "I'm a pretty girl" at the top of your lungs in front of a room full of queer penitentiary inmates. (That is if you actually have them.) If not, I'll just keep looking for them here, and hope that they show up someday.

Grocery Shopping

I've had so many trips to the grocery store that were the stuff of nightmares (screaming kids who won't sit in the cart, run away constantly, climb on things, break eggs and cartons of milk, etc.). I usually come home from the store in a horrible mood, wanting to gouge my brains out. Today however, was quite the opposite, so I thought it blog worthy. Here's what made the trip so good:

1) Clayton was strapped to my chest in his snugly, and didn't make a peep the entire trip (though it did make my back ache toward the end. Oh well, I guess it can't be perfect.)

2) Justice sat in the cart and did not scream, cry, or even attempt to get out of the cart one time (and I didn't even have to bribe him!)

3) Justice wore his Indiana Jones hat and jacket (he won't go anywhere without them), and a bunch of elderly people commented on how much they liked his hat, and how cute he was. I don't think most of them knew he was supposed to be IJ, they just liked the old fashioned hat I guess.

4) A woman in the checkout isle offered to get my million jugs of milk from the bottom of my cart for me (since I looked rather awkward with Clayton strapped to my front). Wasn't that nice of her!

5) A man turned in some woman's purse that she left behind on the bagging counter. It's so nice to see people being honest!

6) Even though the store was unusually crowded, I happened to be lucky enough to get to the line just before it exploded and ran halfway to the back of the store.

7) As I was unloading my cart onto the conveyor belt, Justice spied the pineapple that I was buying, and said "Is that Spongebob's house?!" I laughed out loud.

Sprayer Prank

Funnily enough, Ross happened to be the one to get it the first time. The second time, the kids were setting Justice up (because he was the only person in the house who didn't see the first one), and Ross was watching from just the wrong spot. He got the most direct hit in the face again.