Monday, February 28, 2011

Leaky Cauldron

That's my brain, a leaky cauldron. I was going to babble about something or other on here, and I unloaded my camera while I was at it. I got to remembering all of the things that I had meant to blog in the past few weeks, but never got around to doing. Now I've completely forgotten what I got on here to do in the first place. I'm getting more and more forgetful all of the time. I think there is just too much crammed up in there. I used to scorn people who had planners and had to write things down in order to remember appointments. It seemed like too much structure to me. (That was when I was like 18 or 19 years old.) Now I can't seem to remember a thing without a stinking tattoo on my face or something. I forget to look at my planner anymore.

Anyway, I'll type my way through these pictures off of my camera, in no particular order, because I'm too lazy to rearrange them. Maybe I'll remember what my original post was going to be by the time I'm done. Or not. It was probably dumb anyway.

These pics of Clayton get posted just because they're cute. Funny, it just occurred to me that they both involve cake. Happy birthdays to Justice (5) and Ross (11)! Hmm. Happy birthdays to Ross and Justice, but I'm posting pictures of Clayton. Does that make me a terrible mother? Maybe.


A couple of weeks ago Bruce took four days off of work to be there while I recovered from a minor surgical procedure, related to my varicose veins, but not typical vein surgery. It turned out that I felt mostly good post surgery, which is good, because Bruce and his dad spent the entire four days doing a major insulation project in our upstairs. It turned out that Bruce was more tired and in need of rest than I was.

They cut many holes in divers places and blew in insulation.


It was really messy. I've been busy mudding and sanding the stinking holes ever since ~ another very messy job that I dislike. I scared Clayton one day when I came downstairs covered in white dust. It was funny, but I didn't have the heart to growl or to be truly scary at him.


Mark and Ross had their pinewood derby this weekend. Ross ended his career with a perfect record. He has never been beaten. Whoop whoop!!
So here's a picture of Justice and Clayton building a snowman together. Nice right? The real story is that Justice was trying to build a family of snowmen, and Clayton kept taking the arms off and running away. Then Justice would get mad and chase him all over the yard.


Our puppy Ally is turning into a mostly good dog. She is really patient with the kids, she's had all of her shots, she is spayed, potty trained, she comes when she's called, she knows "sit," "laydown," "stay." That's the major list of requirements right? However, she's always sneaking things out of the trash, the sink, and who knows what else and hiding them in one of her two stashes. I'm always finding tasty treats hidden behind the curtains next to her bed.
She's not Chloe, but she's trying. That reminds me, my sister-in-law told me that a black dog with white feet is an omen of death. Now I guess she has a new nick name. Wouldn't it be fun to name your dog something like Omen of Death! "Justice and his dog Omen of Death." Or how about "Getem!" How awesome would that be to call your dog when they are greeting people walking down your street. "GETEM!!" Or maybe like the name ... "Pooh Paul Ready" That would be a good one when the dog gets in the neighbor's yard.


You know how I said that I've been spending lots of time mudding and sanding? Well one day last week after I had finished my mudding for the day, Clayton went up stairs and got into the mud in a large hole that I had patched up. He did some mudding of his own.
It's a good thing that mud washes off easy!

Justice continues in his MO. Before the bump on his noggin was even half gone, he fell out of the back of his dad's truck (it was parked in the driveway), and scrapped up the side of his face. Also, he broke another window last night, trying to squash a bug that was on the other side of the glass. I don't know what I'm going to do with that kid! That's two broken windows and the glass to Bruce's gun case broken by Justice in the last five months. Ugh. I guess I'm buying a couple of new windows with our tax return. Love that kid all the same!

Well, that's all I've got for today. So much for whatever I was going to post about. This will have to do instead.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Life With Little Boys

Okay, two little boys watching themselves in the mirror, jumping on my bed, naked, laughing and yelling

"I'm superman, flying in the sky naked!"

"Naked, naked, naked!"

is really cute. I'd take a picture, but Justice is getting a little too old to be photographed naked. If I was Amy, I might have figured out some artistic way to take a picture of only their bare chests or feet or something, but I'm just me.

I'm not mentioning that they just got finished dumping half a bottle of shampoo on the shower floor. It all washed down the drain anyway.

I'm going to have to do a Sunday morning line up though. I got to church on Sunday to find that Ross was wearing jeans and a t-shirt under his church clothes, and Justice had two left shoes on.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Pardon My Toot!

I just finished writing my very first ever (well the stuff that you do as a kid, because your teacher made you, doesn't count) short story! It's not perfect, I'm sure, but it was fun.

You see, I'm the chair person of Mark's class' Valentine's Day party (how's that for a lot of possessive " 's!") and I needed one more game to fill about 20 minutes worth. Mark's been having fun playing Madlibs, so I thought it would be fun to do a madlib kind of story with the class. I looked all over for one that was already made up, or a story that I could easily convert into a madlib, but I couldn't find anything that I really liked. So in the end, I decided that I'd try to write my own. It took me a few hours, but I am pleased with the results.

Here it is:






A Silly, Adlib, Love Story



By Renae Eldridge

February 2011


Here are the words that you will need to complete the story. Choose your own, and insert them at the appropriate places.

Noun 1

Adjective 1

Name 1

Animal

Name 2

Verb 1

Noun 2

Verb 2

Noun 3

Adjective 2

Verb 3

Verb 4

Verb 5

Adjective 3

Noun 4

Verb 6

Adjective 4

Name 3

Once upon a time, in a noun 1 far, far away, there lived a (adjective 1 princess named name 1. Every day she and her pet animal,
name 2
verb 1ed through the Enchanted Forest.


She was very happy, but she had a secret, and her greatest fear was that someday everyone would find it out. Her secret was this: When she was very small, a witch had enchanted her so that when ever anyone said the word "noun 2" in her presence, she would automatically start to verb 2. She couldn't help it, and she had to keep it up for the rest of the day! She was afraid that once people found out, they would take advantage of her, and she would be stuck verb 2ing for the rest of her life. Then her subjects would lose all respect for her. For who could love a perpetual verb 2er?


So, Princess name 1 and name 2 spent all of their free time hiding in the Enchanted Forest. If you ask me, this was not a good idea. After all, it was an enchantment that was the source of all of her troubles. So why would she spend all of her free time hiding in an Enchanted Forest? The chances are that she would only encounter more enchantments, and make her troubles all the worse. Oh well, princesses are not always known for their brains.


As luck would have it, one day, as Princess name 1 and name 2 were verb 1ing through the forest, they came across a magical noun 3. A little background information here: The magical noun 3 secretly longed for world domination. Its adjective 2 plan was to enchant all princes and princesses that it could find, leave them hidden helplessly in the forest, and then to transform itself in their likenesses and take their places as Kings and Queens. It hadn't figured out yet exactly how to be in a hundred different places at once, but every day the magical noun 3 worked on creating a spell for just that purpose.


Completely unaware of a plan to disable her, Princess

Name 1 happened along the magical noun 3's path. "Now here's luck!" thought the magical noun 3 to itself. "Dear Princess! How I would love to make your dreams come true! Tell me of your greatest joys, and I shall make them always available to you!"


"What an opportunity!" thought the princess. So without hesitation, she blurted out "I love to verb 3, verb 4, and verb 5!"


Immediately the princess began to do all of these things at once. She was could not stop herself. "Oh magical

noun 3, please tell me how to break this spell!"

Cackling madly, the magical noun 3 crowed "True love is your only hope. It alone has the power to break all enchantments. But I'd give up all hope of that, for who would ever love a verb 3ing, verb 4ing, verb 5ing) freak like you?! Aha ha ha! Aha ha ha! Aha ha haaaaa!!!!!" and the magical noun 3 disappeared in a puff of adjective 3
noun 4.


"Oh name 2!" sobbed the princess. "What am I to do?" I can never leave this forest again! I'll be stuck

verb 3ing, and verb 4ing, and verb 5ing here in this place forever!"


Just then they heard the sound of someone crashing through the bushes. "Quick, hide!" shouted the princess, afraid that someone would see her in her sad state. She verb 6ed herself behind a tree and peered out to see what the noise was.


As if drawn by a magnet, a adjective 4 young man ran right up to her in her hiding place. "noun 2!" He shouted in her face.


The princesses' first enchantment made her verb 2 him right in the nose. The young man immediately repeated "noun 2!" Again name 1
verb 2ed him in the nose.


"noun 2!" he shouted a third time and a third time she

verb 2ed him in the nose.


"What a horrible person!" thought the princess. "He's found out my secret and he followed me here to taunt me." She ran off into the woods trying to get away from him, all the while verb 3ing, verb 4ing and verb 5ing.


However the young man followed right on her heals, shouting "noun 2" at her and making her verb 2.


"Go away and leave me alone, you horrible ogre!" she shouted at him.


"I'm sorry my lady, but I can't." he replied. "A magical noun 3 has enchanted me and I am forced to always seek the things that I love most: adjective 1 and noun 2. You are so very adjective 1 that I absolutely can't leave your side. And since I don't have any noun 2 handy, I must beg for it without ceasing."


Verb 2ing, verb 3ing, verb 4ing and verb 5ing, the princess understood. "I've been enchanted by the same noun 3!" She exclaimed! "We must go and find it and make it undo our enchantments! Come with me!"


"Noun 2!" he replied. "I really don't have a choice. My name is Prince name 3, by the way. What's yours?"


"Name 1." She replied as she verb 2ed him in the face. "Let's go!"


So off they went together him shouting "noun 2" and her verb 2ing, verb 3ing, verb 4ing and verb 5ing.


It was a long and hard journey, but eventually they came upon the magical noun 3 while it was trying out its spell to be in a hundred places at once.


"Stop! Noun 2!" shouted Prince Name 3.


Princess Name 1 ran up to the magical noun 3 and

verb 2ed it in the face, right in the middle of its spell. The magical noun 3 stumbled just as he going to a hundred places at once. The spell went all wrong and he was divided into a hundred pieces. That was the end of the magical noun 3.


"Our enchanter is destroyed by its own spell!" exclaimed the princess. "Only now we have no hope of breaking these enchantments. No one could ever love a verb 2ing,

verb 3ing, verb 4ing, verb 5ing freak like me. I'm doomed!" she sobbed.


"I could" said Prince Name 3 softly. "I love your

adjective 1ness, Noun 2!"


"Really?" asked the princess through her tears.


"Yes. Noun 2" replied Prince Name 3. "I love you."


"What? Say that again!" said the Princess excitedly.


"I love you."


"No, the other thing."


"I love your adjective 1ness?"


"No!" said the princess. "Noun 2! See, I didn't verb 2! The spell is broken! I love you too! We don't need the magical noun 3 to break our enchantments! We broke them without it!


Hand in hand Prince Name 3 and Princess Name 1 left the Enchanted Forrest forever. They were married and lived happily ever after.



The End!


Noun 2


Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Well I Feel Sheepish

Am I the only person in the world who finds the telephone a little annoying? Okay sometimes MORE than just a little, sometimes I HATE that dumb thing! Like when it beeps at me telling me that its batteries are dying, or that dumb texting beep! I HATE that dumb texting beep! I don't have texting, I don't do texting, so nobody ever texts me except an eight year old girl from Mark's school is rather besotted with him, and junk mail texts. I HATE it when it beeps at me to tell me that there is a text message! I have to quit whatever I'm doing, and go over and make that stupid thing shut the heck up, or the beeping just goes on and on and on. Above all I HATE it when you get those stupid telemarketing recordings calling you! I hate having to drop whatever I'm doing, and rush over to answer the stupid, ringing, pain in the gluteus maximus, only to find out that I was interrupted for no good reason! (Don't worry folks, you are welcome to call to talk to me about real life things. I don't mind that. I'm not a complete ogre.) Anyway, when I get junk phone calls (and I OFTEN do -and they are not even for me! Curse Nicki Northcut whoever he/she is!! I'm always getting phone calls for Nicki! I suppose he/she had my phone number before I did. He/she/it might even still be giving that number out. They sound like bill collectors. I HATE that!!) Anyway where was I? Whenever I get those automated phone people -You can't even mess with them. It takes all the joy out of telemarketing phone calls! Okay when I get these phone calls, it irritates the heck out of me! I yell rude things into the phone like "Leave me alone!!" "Go AWAY!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" or just a guttural "AAGHGHG!" Then I snap my phone shut and go about my merry way.

So to get to the point, I always do something like the above mentioned rudeness when I get these phone calls including the ones from Family Video telling me to return my overdue DVDs. After all they are just recordings. I never listen to the entire Family Video message. NEVER! I just hang up and often with a rude exclamation. It's my mean little secret. I've been doing it for years.

This morning I got one of those annoying phone calls from Family Video, "Hello this is Emily from Family Video, calling to remind you of..." I don't know what comes after that, because they never get any further than that before I say something rude and hang up.

After I snapped my phone shut, Bruce asked me, "Who was that?"

"Oh just Family Video, calling to tell me that those DVDs are late."

"And you hung up on them?!"

"Yeah, I always do. It's just a recording."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is!"

"No. It isn't. I've been at Family Video and seen them make those phone calls a hundred time. It's a real person."

"No. It sounds just like a recording!"

"That's because they have to make those same phone calls all the time. They'll even tell you which videos you have out."

"It's a recording!"

"No it isn't! I've seen them do it! Is it ALWAYS a girl's voice?"

"No. I never really thought about that. REALLY?!"

"Yeah, really."

"Oh crap!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 07, 2011

Crisis Averted

It probably isn't a good thing when the four year old and the two year old are sneaking off, giggling with a bottle of pancake syrup, to go and play in your bedroom. Luckily, I caught them on the way there.

In other news, Justice had a bit more excitement in his weekend than I prefer. Bruce met the kids and I at the park Friday when he got off work, to do some sledding. We were having a great time! The inch of ice under the inch of snow made the hill REALLY slick and we were going so fast that Ross and Mark were having fun sledding without a sled. Justice, however preferred the sled because it was faster. He has developed quite the knack for doing a running start and then diving onto his waiting sled for maximum speed. However, the park bench at the bottom of the hill had other ideas. It gave a rather abrupt and painful stop to his maximum speed, when he ran face first into its waiting legs. He had a bloody nose and such a huge bump immediately. It was rather scary! Bruce took him straight to the E.R. in his work truck, while I took the other kids and the dog home, grabbed the insurance cards and tore off to meet him there. After a CT scan and some X-rays, they told us that he was just fine. WHEW!!!! He did get a spectacular bump on his noggin though! These pictures really don't do it justice (no pun intended). It's now Monday and other than looking a little strange, he's perfectly fine.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

...Like a Weed! Two Year Edition

It's been two years now since I started taking pictures of my kids by the growth chart. I'm not perfect about it, but I average one picture a week. Here are the results. Enjoy!

video

Friday, February 04, 2011

Stuff

In getting the pictures off my camera, I found a couple of cute Clayton sleeping pictures,

and this shot that I took about a week ago. Is it just me, or do you sometimes take a peek into your closet and realize that it kind of looks like one of the Peanuts characters' closets, where all of the clothes are exactly the same?



On a totally unrelated topic, the other day I was in the basement trying to do one of the many things on my things-that-I-should-really-do-but-just-never-seem-to-fit-into-actual-real-life list. That is, I was lifting weights. Ross says inquisitively, "Mom, why are you doing that?"

My reply was something like, "so I can be more healthy and strong, and because when we get older, we lose our muscles...etc."

He let out a short breath and says as if almost relieved, "Oh. I was wondering if you were lifting weights so you could spank harder."

I wonder if that means that I am lacking in the spanking department. My husband would certainly say that I don't spank nearly enough.