Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Well I Feel Sheepish

Am I the only person in the world who finds the telephone a little annoying? Okay sometimes MORE than just a little, sometimes I HATE that dumb thing! Like when it beeps at me telling me that its batteries are dying, or that dumb texting beep! I HATE that dumb texting beep! I don't have texting, I don't do texting, so nobody ever texts me except an eight year old girl from Mark's school is rather besotted with him, and junk mail texts. I HATE it when it beeps at me to tell me that there is a text message! I have to quit whatever I'm doing, and go over and make that stupid thing shut the heck up, or the beeping just goes on and on and on. Above all I HATE it when you get those stupid telemarketing recordings calling you! I hate having to drop whatever I'm doing, and rush over to answer the stupid, ringing, pain in the gluteus maximus, only to find out that I was interrupted for no good reason! (Don't worry folks, you are welcome to call to talk to me about real life things. I don't mind that. I'm not a complete ogre.) Anyway, when I get junk phone calls (and I OFTEN do -and they are not even for me! Curse Nicki Northcut whoever he/she is!! I'm always getting phone calls for Nicki! I suppose he/she had my phone number before I did. He/she/it might even still be giving that number out. They sound like bill collectors. I HATE that!!) Anyway where was I? Whenever I get those automated phone people -You can't even mess with them. It takes all the joy out of telemarketing phone calls! Okay when I get these phone calls, it irritates the heck out of me! I yell rude things into the phone like "Leave me alone!!" "Go AWAY!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" or just a guttural "AAGHGHG!" Then I snap my phone shut and go about my merry way.

So to get to the point, I always do something like the above mentioned rudeness when I get these phone calls including the ones from Family Video telling me to return my overdue DVDs. After all they are just recordings. I never listen to the entire Family Video message. NEVER! I just hang up and often with a rude exclamation. It's my mean little secret. I've been doing it for years.

This morning I got one of those annoying phone calls from Family Video, "Hello this is Emily from Family Video, calling to remind you of..." I don't know what comes after that, because they never get any further than that before I say something rude and hang up.

After I snapped my phone shut, Bruce asked me, "Who was that?"

"Oh just Family Video, calling to tell me that those DVDs are late."

"And you hung up on them?!"

"Yeah, I always do. It's just a recording."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is!"

"No. It isn't. I've been at Family Video and seen them make those phone calls a hundred time. It's a real person."

"No. It sounds just like a recording!"

"That's because they have to make those same phone calls all the time. They'll even tell you which videos you have out."

"It's a recording!"

"No it isn't! I've seen them do it! Is it ALWAYS a girl's voice?"

"No. I never really thought about that. REALLY?!"

"Yeah, really."

"Oh crap!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

Cassi : ) said...

That's hilarious! Now you are the account that NO ONE wants to call! :)

Renae said...

After reading through this, I realize it sounds like I yell at the phone all the time. No, I'm not a complete psycho. I don't yell all the time. I do often say rude things and hang up, but I don't always yell. Occasionally if I'm having a bad day, yes I will yell. But on the whole it's just a regular hang up with a possible growl or a "shut up" or a "kiss off." I forgot about that one. I've told Family Video and a bunch of other folks to "kiss off" about a million times. Ha ha!

leschornmom said...

Hi, I was just blog-hopping and found your site through Cassi's. I always like to take the chance to say "Hi" when I read someone's blog. That way I don't feel like a stalker. LOL!
When I first got my cell about 4 years ago, I had a bill collector calling me all the time. He didn't believe that I wasn't the lady he was looking for. I like to ask people like that for their home number so that I can call them back at a better time. LOL!
I hate my phone too and I had to tell people to stop sending me texts because I couldn't figure out how to answer them.

You have a darling family and I truly enjoy your sense of humor!

PS. Anyone who can name their blog "Frog Droppings" gets and A+ in my book!

timpani76 said...

This made me laugh. A LOT. I thought, "only you Renae, only you!"