Am I the only person in the world who finds the telephone a little annoying? Okay sometimes MORE than just a little, sometimes I HATE that dumb thing! Like when it beeps at me telling me that its batteries are dying, or that dumb texting beep! I HATE that dumb texting beep! I don't have texting, I don't do texting, so nobody ever texts me except an eight year old girl from Mark's school is rather besotted with him, and junk mail texts. I HATE it when it beeps at me to tell me that there is a text message! I have to quit whatever I'm doing, and go over and make that stupid thing shut the heck up, or the beeping just goes on and on and on. Above all I HATE it when you get those stupid telemarketing recordings calling you! I hate having to drop whatever I'm doing, and rush over to answer the stupid, ringing, pain in the gluteus maximus, only to find out that I was interrupted for no good reason! (Don't worry folks, you are welcome to call to talk to me about real life things. I don't mind that. I'm not a complete ogre.) Anyway, when I get junk phone calls (and I OFTEN do -and they are not even for me! Curse Nicki Northcut whoever he/she is!! I'm always getting phone calls for Nicki! I suppose he/she had my phone number before I did. He/she/it might even still be giving that number out. They sound like bill collectors. I HATE that!!) Anyway where was I? Whenever I get those automated phone people -You can't even mess with them. It takes all the joy out of telemarketing phone calls! Okay when I get these phone calls, it irritates the heck out of me! I yell rude things into the phone like "Leave me alone!!" "Go AWAY!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" or just a guttural "AAGHGHG!" Then I snap my phone shut and go about my merry way.
So to get to the point, I always do something like the above mentioned rudeness when I get these phone calls including the ones from Family Video telling me to return my overdue DVDs. After all they are just recordings. I never listen to the entire Family Video message. NEVER! I just hang up and often with a rude exclamation. It's my mean little secret. I've been doing it for years.
This morning I got one of those annoying phone calls from Family Video, "Hello this is Emily from Family Video, calling to remind you of..." I don't know what comes after that, because they never get any further than that before I say something rude and hang up.
After I snapped my phone shut, Bruce asked me, "Who was that?"
"Oh just Family Video, calling to tell me that those DVDs are late."
"And you hung up on them?!"
"Yeah, I always do. It's just a recording."
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is!"
"No. It isn't. I've been at Family Video and seen them make those phone calls a hundred time. It's a real person."
"No. It sounds just like a recording!"
"That's because they have to make those same phone calls all the time. They'll even tell you which videos you have out."
"It's a recording!"
"No it isn't! I've seen them do it! Is it ALWAYS a girl's voice?"
"No. I never really thought about that. REALLY?!"
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