My friend Laurie's latest post inspired me to ask this question: Have you ever had one of those mortifying mommy moments when you just want to evaporate on the spot? Tell us all about it!
Oh the joys! Once on vacation, I was in a public pool which happened to be a LONG walk away from our condo. (I can't believe I'm telling this awful story!) Anyway, my baby had a massive escape velocity diarrhea blowout in the pool. It totally was gooing out of his swim diaper and into the pool that lots of people were swimming in. AAHH!! What could I do? There were no authoritative or janitorial looking people around to inform, so I just grabbed him and carried him back the LONG walk to our condo to clean him up, feeling MORTIFIED and horribly guilty about the people swimming in his crap. For the record, I did try to catch as many of those nasty floaties as I could before making my dash away, but it wasn't much use.
Ohh, another time on a different vacation with a different baby, we were at Dixie Stampede and the servers came around handing out these bowls of hot soup with handles. Before I knew what was happening, my six month old reached out and grabbed the handle and slung hot soup ALL OVER!! He totally hit the people who were sitting in front of us. They were NOT happy with me AT ALL!!
Back in the days when I only had Lydia, Ross and Mark (who were about 7, 5, and 3 respectively at the time of this particular incident), I used to frequent the library inside the mall. The kids liked to play in the children's room. They had this big wooden box thing which was painted to look like a fire engine. It had benches to sit on and a bunch shelves stocked with fire safety books and books about firemen and the likes. Also in the corner of the room was a rocking chair stupidly situated so that the back was just about a foot away from the fire escape door. We were happily looking at books and making a huge pile of things to check out when Mark (who was potty training, but apparently not quite without accidents yet) peed inside the fire truck thing. I went and begged some paper towels and cleaning supplies off of the librarian. As I was cleaning that mess up, Ross got a little too enthusiastic with the rocking chair and rocked back accidentally opening the fire escape door which set off the fire alarm. I swore they were never going to let me come back after that visit.
And then there is always this bunch of embarrassment which I posted about a couple of years ago.
Storytime: Breaking Bones - When I was in third grade, I wanted nothing more than to break a bone. I didn't care if it was a foot, leg, wrist, or arm--I just wanted an injury that wou...
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