When Bruce was in college, and Lydia was a little baby, Bruce entered (and nearly won) a stand-a-thon. The prize was the winners choice of either a prefab home or $25,000. It was totally crazy. You had to stand (no leaning) longer than anyone else, that's all. You got 4 - 15 minute breaks per 24 hours, in which you could go to the bathroom, or lay down, or whatever you wanted. Bruce made it for 5 days. Of a couple hundred contestants, he came in fourth. He got disqualified because as he was squatting to help another contestant wrap his ankle, his hand brushed the ground.
Anyway, the craziest thing was watching the contestants go temporarily insane from sleep deprivation. One guy thought he was seeing fireworks, when in fact he was just looking at the moon.
Another woman started asking for her prom dress.
There was a guy there who everyone was intimidated by because he was a navy seal. He did really well, until he started ripping down banners to make room for the "dance competition."
Another man was being driven home by his wife, after he'd dropped out of the contest, and jumped out of the car when it was going 45 mph. He thought she was kidnapping him or something. Somehow he wasn't hurt too bad.
Another guy decided he was going to walk home, and fell asleep next to a stop light on one of those island things in the middle of the highway.
One guy got disqualified when he jumped over the fence and ran across the parking lot to save a non-existent little girl from getting hit by a non-existent car.
Right after one of Bruce's friends dropped out, he was laying down on the pavement, and caught sight of one of his shoes laying next to him. He thought it was a snake or a demon or something. He FLIPPED OUT!!!! He started screaming and kicking at his shoe absolutely hysterically yelling "What the heck is that?!!! Get it away! Get it away!!!"
One man started acting really mean and aggressive. I remember him yelling "I've been in the hospital for a month! Why am I wearing a diaper?!" Then he walked up to one of the judges and pointed in his face accusingly "Are you the reason my pee pee hurts?!"
It was all a bunch of crazy sauce! Too bad Bruce didn't win. Oh well, it made for some funny stories!
What I Read in 2022
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Hello, hello! I wrote this nearly two years ago but never published it.
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1 week ago
12 comments:
interesting that i cant remember all of the things that went on over that five days. in fact there are whole blocks of time missing.
I remember when Bruce was in that! I thought for sure Bruce would win. Those stories are all hilarious. They should make everyone in the contest have like 3 "handlers" to keep them from hurting themselves.
The funniest story--"are you the reason my pee pee hurts?"
I would totally be the last person to try something like that. I'm the most sensitive sleep deprivation person I know. I start hallucinating after some ridiculous low number of hours (like 24 I think). I only know this because I had to throw papers at 2AM before and work during the day as well. Not doing that again!
Holy cow! That's hilarious. Was Bruce upset he got disqualified for that dumb reason or was he secretly glad he could go home and sleep? Man! I could not do something like that.
So- did Bruce do anything crazy? Or is he used to the sleep deprivation?
i didnt go too crazy. at least not that i remimber. the "my pee pee hurts guy" was getting pretty agressive toards people. i told one of the judges that if he came toards me like that i was going to punch him(the guy not the judge) in the face. the judge said "well...i cant TELL you that that would be OK but...." i was kinda upset when i first got put out, but i was very tired. after the fact, rules are rules, and i did touch the ground. when i got home i slept for about 14 hours strait, and i wet the bed for the first time in about 20 years.
That's some funny stuff! Did they get sued or anything?
no, everyone had to fill out and sign waivers. and they had medical staff checking us out from time to time.
Bruce cussed his parents out royally at one point as I recall, while under the effects of sleep-depravity.
The funniest thing about this whole thing was this:
You've got 20 or so guys standing around in a roped off area of the mall parking lot. That's all thier doing- standing. Yet around the clock there was a large crowd of people with lawn chairs etc sitting outside the ring, watching the contest. Just watching them stand.
I don't remember the cussing. What happened? I remember Bruce saying that the ground looked like it was tipping side to side.
Wow! I have nightmares about cussing out my mom. I can't imagine!
ROFL! That's the greatest thing ever! Did Bruce do anything really interesting? I'd never be able to make it. I have to pee at least 47 times every day. (Ask anyone who spends a lot of time with me. It's true.) Besides the fact that I wouldn't be able to stay awake that long.
Okay, now I've read all the comments. I'm sure his mom took it in stride because of the circumstances. I'd still feel bad about it, though.
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