I've been avoiding the blogs lately. The computer eats up too much of my time. There are just WAY too many things that I'm supposed to be doing, and it's stressing me out lately. I don't know what the answer is, but I feel guilty most of the time, which is stupid. No matter what I do, there are 100 things that I didn't get done. I kind of feel like my "to do" list is ruling me right now, and I don't like it. I don't have time for anything that I actually want to do, and I feel like I've totally forgotten how to play. Where is the balance? My kids need to see me as someone who loves them and takes time for them, not as a mean ogress obsessed by getting things done.
Completely worn out the other day, (on one of my 4:30 a.m. running days) I took Bruce's advice and took a nap while J & C were taking theirs. I wasn't going to make it one more step anyhow. I was so tired, I actually dreamed about sleeping. I dreamed I was driving along and was so tired that I stopped at our old house, went inside and took a nap. When I woke up (in my dream) the new owner of the house came home and flipped out because I was in her house. I tried to explain that I just wanted a nap, and that I thought it would be okay because I used to live there, but she called the cops on me. I woke up (for real) in a panic because the cops were chasing me down the street.
Anyway, I'll shut my complaining up now. Hopefully next time I'll have found my fun side again. Right now, I'm going to spend some time with my piano.
Snapshot of Hazel at Age Two - This picture right here is the essence of Hazel. She's such a ray of sunshine in our family and for pretty much anyone who meets her, and she's always read...
3 months ago