Nightmare Conference Call

You can only laugh at these things!  Oh the mortification!  So a little background information here:  I have a small at home job working for a court reporting company, in which I print, bind, and bill for depositions.  I work AT HOME, with five kids, a husband and a dog.  This is usually no big deal.  I do all my work on the computer via email and the post office.  I don't see or talk to any of our lawyer customers - EVER.  Until today.

Also of note is that about a week ago, Ross, my 12 year old son, changed my outgoing voicemail message to something like this:

"Hello? ...  Hello? ... What? ...What? ... I can't hear you... Oh wait!  I'm not HERE!  Please call back when I am."

I thought it was funny, and since pretty much nobody but my family ever calls me, it's no big deal.  It's not like any employer type people are going to be calling me, right?  I actually thought those words.

So one of the main law firms that we work for is changing their billing system.  In order to be able to submit bills I would need to attend an online class today to learn how it all is to work.  So at the appointed time, I followed the links to direct me to the said webinar.  I've never attended anything of the sort, so I didn't really know what to expect.  As it turns out, it was a giant conference call on the phone, and a shared computer screen.  I went to the website, and called the number that I was directed to call.  Easy.  I am immediately put into a conference call with about 20 different law firms all learning the new system.  Instead of seeing what they are talking about on my screen though, I see a pop-up window telling me to enter my phone number.  Thinking this is someway that I'm supposed to log on, I enter my phone number.  Now in addition to hearing (and being a part of the conversation), I am hearing their system calling my phone.  It doesn't really register what is happening until I can hear my own voicemail message through my phone.  "Hello?   .... Hello?  What?  What?...etc."  To my horror, I realize that all of these other professional type people are hearing my voicemail right along with me.  Horrified, I hang up.  I proceeded to call back and enter back into the conversation a minute later, only to realize that at my house, this is NOT going to work.

"Mom, can I have some ice cream?"

 "MOM!  He's using my toothbrush!"

"Mom, can I get on the computer after you?"

 knock at the door "WOOF WOOF!"   

'Oh crap!  Renae mute the phone, quick!'  I'm thinking.  Unfortunately, I don't actually know how to use that particular function.  I've only done it on accident a few times.  In my frenzied frame of mind, I push the button that I THINK makes the phone mute, only to realize that I was wrong.  I press another button.  Wrong again.  I am screaming at myself in my head, 'RENAE!!  They can HEAR you pressing these random buttons!'  Panicked, I hang up again.  Bruce suggested that I use his phone, since he knows how to mute his. Then ensues a frantic search for Bruce's phone, in which Bruce has to remind me that I can just call it to locate the thing.  (I was in such a frantic frame of mind by now, that it actually didn't occur to me.)  Just as I found his phone, I realized how to mute my own, but by the time I got back into the call, I had missed over half of the instructions, and was completely lost.  Fortunately I have written instructions, which I think will be just fine.  Sheesh!  What a morning.  LOL!!!