Kind of Frustrated

My hubby tells me that I'm being silly. My best friend tells me that I did good. Maybe I am being silly and I'm trying hard to be sensible. But it is sooo hard -to work for so long at the one thing (apart from the important things in life like Mother and Wife) I REALLY want to be good at, only to screw it up when it counts. I know that when I am alone, I am actually quite good. I am not what I want to be yet, but I am making real progress. I can see it. But every time I get in front of other people, it falls apart. It's a good thing that I am a stubborn, determined little buger. I hate being mediocre - crappy; especially when I've worked so hard, I want so much to be good, and I (only I, no one else has ever heard me play like I can - except for my kids) know that I can do it. Would it be too much to ask for everyone at the Stake Christmas Program to turn around, plug their ears and hum? Oh well, it was only a practice. I've got several weeks to practice yet. "I think I can. I think I can!"

Okay, I need to get a grip and get back to work. I'll probably delete this post. Sorry for being glum. You can ignore me if you want.