The Source of the Mysterious Chirping

The sound of chirping yesterday was driving me CRAZY!!! So I took down the smoke alarm that I had absolutely no doubt was the culprit, took out the old batteries and started looking for new ones, when I heard another "Chirp!"

"What the Heck! I just took out the batteries."

I went to the only other smoke alarm on the main floor, took it down and took out the batteries. I had replaced the batteries in the 6 smoke alarms in the house at the same time (way over 6 months ago, but they still test okay when you push the buttons). Still, it seems like a bit of a stretch that they would all start chirping at the same time. Anyhow, I now have 2 batteryless smoke alarms sitting on my counter-top.

"Chirp!"

"What the freak! Surely that chirp would not sound so loud if it were coming from downstairs or upstairs. It just isn't possible. It sounds like it's right here in the room with me."

"Chirp!"

Then I remembered that I had a spare smoke alarm that I had never put up ... somewhere. Had I put it in a closet or on a shelf somewhere with batteries in it? I start looking in all of the places I might have put that spare. All along I keep hearing this "Chirp" and I can't figure out where it's coming from. That spare isn't hiding on top of my cabinets; it's not in the cabinet above the fridge. It's not in the cabinet above the trashcan. It's not on my bookshelf.

"Chirp!"

"WHERE IS THAT COOKY THING?! I can hear it like it's right stinking there, but I can't see it!" It's not in my bathroom closet.

"Chirp!"

I start tearing apart my hall closet.

"Chirp!"

"That doesn't sound like it's coming from my hall closet. WHERE IS IT?!"

"Chirp!"

I recheck my cabinet tops.

"Chirp!"

I recheck my bookcase.

"Chirp!"

I push aside the coats hanging on the hooks in the hallway, and run my hand along the wall behind them -as if I just might have hung it on such a stupid place as on a wall, behind a bunch of coats, and then forgotten completely about it.

"Chirp!"

"ARGH!" I go back to the hall closet and tear it apart some more.

"Chirp!"

Back to the bookcase.

"Chirp!"

Back to the cabinets.

"Chirp!"

Back to the closet.

"Chirp!"

Back to the bathroom.

"Chirp!"

Back to the bookcase.

"Chirp!"

At last my eye falls on the carbon monoxide detector of insanity. I pick it up.

"Chirp!" as a red light lights up. I'm a crazy moron.