Fresh Air and Frogs

Ahh, Spring! I am airing out the house (and I'm not freezing in the process). Out with the bad air, in with the good! And I heard Frogs singing in my parent's backyard (Mom loves frog ponds). Ahh Freshness!

This Boy's Guardian Angels Must Be Putting in Some Serious Overtime

This is his new favorite game. He unlocks the window, pulls down the top pane, and looks at the "birdie outside!" I'm not too concerned for his safety here because he only opens the top pane, and still has the bottom one to hold him in. (Although, he does know that this is a "no-no") He only opens the kitchen windows, because they are the only ones in the house that are small enough that he can reach the top pane. He hasn't figured out that you can push up from the bottom to open the windows. My worry is that he'll try this with one of the windows upstairs. I need to find some kind of device that will let me lock the window so he can't open it. The problem is that it needs to still be easy enough to open that a 10 year old can easily open it to escape in case of a fire. Anyone have any suggestions? Something for me to research.

Now here's the scary one! How did he survive this with only 2 little scratches? I wasn't in the room, but I'm assuming that he tried to climb up the dresser using the pulled out drawers as steps. Broken glass everywhere! Does this make me a terrible mother?

"No Man Stands So Tall As When He Helps To Cripple A Stupid Child"

I have a bad habit of falling asleep in front of the TV. I hardly ever watch TV during the day, and after I finally get my children to bed, I just really like to sit and be completely mindless in front of the TV for a while with my favorite guy. The problem is that I don't know when to stop. I never want to go to bed. I'm often awake for only about 10 minutes to watch Myth Busters, or whatever, but I thoroughly enjoy those 10 minutes with Bruce. I'll wake up over and over, and try to squeeze some more mindlessness out of my day.

Anyway, I fell asleep watching Whose Line is it Anyway? last night. That show is so funny! The problem is that I sometimes have to turn it off because they tend to make too many sex jokes. Anyway, I fell asleep watching that, and while I was asleep, that got over and an infomercial thing came on about sponsoring the poor starving, disease ridden, parent less children of Africa. (And poor little Sally Muckinfutch with a finger for an eye) I'm sure these are wonderful programs, and if I had 2 cents to rub together after paying our bills, I'd probably sponsor some poor child. Anyway, my mind was still in Whose Line is it Anyway? mode. (Often when I'm asleep, I still hear the TV, and whatever is on infiltrates my dreams. This can be especially bad when those late night infomercials come on, because with my defenses down, I'll sincerely believe that whatever they are selling is the most wonderful thing in the world. I woke up one time, thinking that this new technique to weight loss -where you only have to workout for 7 minutes a day to loose all of those extra inches- was the answer to all of my prayers, and I needed to call right then. Then, awake, I thought about it for 2 seconds and realized it was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. It's a good thing that I can't buy things in my sleep, or I'd be in debt to my ears, with my space under my bed filled so full that my bed would be touching the ceiling. "I don't care what it does, as long as it folds up and fits under a bed!" -Pinky from Pinky and the Brain) ANYWAY, my mind was still on Whose Line... and my brain kept coming up with these hilarious lines poking fun at these poor starving, disease ridden, parent less children. I was really funny! (At least to my sleep fogged brain.) I kept partially waking up, realizing that they were serious, and thinking "Renae, that's terrible!" Then I'd fall asleep and make fun of them again. Bad, bad, bad.

BTW, the quote in the title is a messed up version of "No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a crippled child." I don't know where it's from, but John likes to say it messed up. This is actually the quote that made me rebreak my rib, laughing (after a day of wrestling Justice -it was the straw that broke camel's back, or my rib).

My Son the Chef

My mom tells the story of how John made her a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich once when he was a kid. She smiled and ate it, trying not to show that it tasted yucky. I was expecting the same kind of thing when Ross brought me a melted marshmallow and popcorn sandwich today. I took a bite, and to my surprise, it was pretty good! What a sweet boy!

Simple Things That Make Me Truly Happy

Some of you more petite persons might not understand this. But what a luxury it is to have pants that are really long enough -pants that touch the top of your shoes -that I could wash 100 times and they still touch my feet! I have seriously NEVER had pants that were this long before (well, maybe when I was a kid, but that doesn't count). I spent my entire Jr. High and High School careers looking like I was waiting for a flood, as pants that came in long lengths weren't available to the masses yet. My only sadness is that these are maternity pants, and I will never again wear these after a few months. Oh well, maybe I can cut the legs off and sew them to some new pants? Naw.

I'm Dreaming of a White...Easter?!

Here we are painting Easter eggs with our good friend Noelle. Lydia took her time, hand painting them with beautiful and colorful designs. Ross' and Noelle's said things like "Road kill."

And here's the annual fashion show.

Lydia, Justice and cousin Erin in the snow.


Ross the Stud

Mark

Justice and Lydia

Here's the whole gang.

Back row: Taylor, Grant, Lydia and Erin

Front row: Mark, Ross, Justice and Ethan

Possibly the World's Most Annoying Toy

Bruce thinks it's really funny to give other people's children annoying, noise making toys. Whoever got our children this one takes the cake, I think. Not only does it make noise unbidden, but it also parrots whatever noises it hears. It mocks you by saying everything you say back at you, but in a slightly higher pitch. This produces the most wonderfully annoying affect in that Justice feels compelled to scream at the top of his lungs when ever this thing is around. And people, don't say that "at least the batteries will eventually run out." My children have long ago figured out how to replace batteries in their toys by themselves.

I recall a time when I was particularly grouchy with my children for not cleaning up their messes. This was one of those times when you cringe at the thought of a neighbor being outside and overhearing your insanity. I yelled "Clean up your Crap!!" Mark was holding that dumb parrot thing, which yelled back "Clean up your Crap!! Clean up your Crap!!" I just love hearing exactly how mad I sound. (I know, I know, another potty word, I am so going to the bad place!)

I wouldn't be surprised at all if Bruce finds one of these to give to one of our relatives' children for their next birthday. Whoever did this one deserves an award or something. You got us good that time!

A Great Way to Kick Off Spring Break

We had a great day yesterday. (I was a do-do, and didn't bring along my camera.) We went to an Easter egg hunt at a friend's house. Next we went to the zoo with our friends. I don't know why we don't do that more often. We have a zoo membership, but every year we end up going at the last minute, and trying to burn up all of our tickets before they expire. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. The weather was Perfect! Everywhere we went, we had to pull Justice away kicking and screaming. He loved everything! Mark and his friend To kept sticking their legs between the bars of the fences and singing "Come and bite my leg off!" Of course there was always a pit between the animals and us, so they couldn't have bitten their legs off. Then we ended the day with a trip to Fitz's resteraunt. And for once Justice actually sat in his chair for almost the whole time we were there. It was a great day.

Getting There

Oh happy day! My baby counter says less than 100 days to go!

You Can Have it, Bruce

Bruce and I have been debating over who gets to post the funny thing that Ross said yesterday. This is the problem with both of us blogging. But, I'll be nice and let Bruce tell you about it. But he'd better hurry up, or I'll do it. Dang it, now I've hyped it up, and ruined it's funniness. I hate hype, because nothing ever lives up to it. Well almost never anyway.

I Thought Better of It

Yes, "embarrassing mom hell" is right. I felt bad about that last post, hence it's gone (before a certain person finds out). Please pretend that it never happened.

Trent's Evil Influence

It's funny how things tend to come back to haunt you. My brother Trent was born when I was almost 15, and John was 17. We had a great time teaching him to be just as wacky as us. When he was about 3 we taught him to say "SILENCE INFIDEL!" It was just too funny to hear that coming out in his little high pitched voice. That reminds me of a good Trent story that I will have to relay in a minute. Anyway, we were sitting around the dinner table last night, and someone brought up this story, which is a funny one, so I'm blogging it for posterity.

Ross was about 3 years old, so that would make Trent 12-ish. We had gone out for a day of hiking and picnicking with my parents and family. We had a great day. When we were at the picnic portion, there was another family at another picnic table not too far off from where we were. We were all sitting around the table enjoying the beautiful day and good company. I noticed Trent whispering into Ross' ear (this is often a sign that things are about to get exciting, and not necessarily in a good way). Unbeknownst to me, Trent was telling Ross that the people at the other table were orks. Ross jumps up all of a sudden, and starts running toward the other table, brandishing his walking stick like a maniac, and yelling "Kill the Orks!!! Kill the Orks!!!" I of course stopped him before he actually got to their table.

Another time (not too long after that) I had to go downtown to get pick something silly up in a shop. I had Trent with me, so I just left him and the kids in the van by themselves while I ran inside. When I came out, I found out that Ross had been leaning out of the window and yelling "Hey Fatty Buldger!" at passersby. Hmm, mysterious, where on Earth could he have gotten that phrase? I'm pretty sure that Ross hadn't read Lord of the Rings at that time.

Okay, here's the Trent story that I mentioned earlier. And despite all of the evil influence John or I may have had on him when he was younger, I promise that Trent did this one completely on his own! Trent was 3 years old. We had gone to Ponderosa as a family. Mom took Trent to the bathroom. There was a woman coming out of the bathroom as they were going in. Out of nowhere, Trent reached out and slapped this woman on the leg. My mom was shocked! "Apologise to that lady, Trent!" she says. Trent looked the woman in the eye and screamed "She's not a wady!" My poor mother about died of embarrassment.

Mark Beats Everyone Bowling

I meant to blog about this last week, but I forgot. We went bowling for family night last Monday, and we had a blast. I'm a notoriously bad bowler! I once bowled a 19; no joke, I actually did. I didn't bowl this time. Justice was asleep, so I just held him and watched the fun, which is just as much fun for me as actually bowling. We had the bumpers up, of course, but the sensors at the end of the lane were not too great or something. The kids didn't roll their balls hard enough for the sensor to register that they had bowled. They would knock down some pins, and get to roll again for free. It happened with all of the kids, but with Mark the most (as he's the littlest). Mark had several times when he bowled the ball 4 times in one frame. He also had a few lucky shots, hence he got several spares and even a few "strikes." Bruce and I were cracking up. Ross and Lydia also did better than they should have. Bruce was having a slightly off night for him (it would have been a pretty good night for me). Anyway, Mark bowled a 109 and Bruce got a 103. Mark was ecstatic! It was a fun night for all.

Count to Ten SLOWLY!!!

It is a beautiful day outside. I have many things that I'd rather be doing besides laundry. However, our laundry situation had reached a code red. My laundry system where everybody folds their own laundry has been failing me, because no one was actually doing their laundry, they just let it build up and build up until my laundry room was complete chaos. Everyone's baskets were overflowing into everyone else's. I decided that come heck or high water, I was going to get through all of that laundry once and for all. Then from now on, every Saturday everyone will fold their laundry, all of it before going out and playing. Well, I've been sitting here all day long, literally, and a good portion of last evening folding laundry. I've watched Forrest Gump (fast forwarding with the TV off through all of the bad parts), Rudy with all of the extra features, 2 episodes of Cash Cab, and one episode of Myth Busters. I was making some real head way. I finished and put away all of Bruce's, Justice's, and my baskets. I had just finished folding and sorting all of Mark's laundry. I took a break to get my children something to eat. Justice struck. I took a deep breath, I actually didn't yell, I just picked the little devil up and carried him up and shut him up in his room. Right now I'm venting. He may end up staying there until he falls asleep. He hasn't had a nap today, so I think I might be done with him for the day.

Mark Gives Mom a Guilt Trip

Here's a drawing that Mark did at school.

For those of you who have a hard time deciphering Kindergarten writ, here's what it says (written backwards as sometimes happens with Kgs)

Title: "We killed my Cat"

Underneath: "Marius Cat, Mom why did we have to kill the cat?"

Another Day With The J-Bird

At least it was just a dry erase marker. It came right up.

So Many Things to Blog About, So Little Time

Where to start. Bruce told all about Ross' baptism, so I guess I'll just let you read his account. It was great! The bad thing about both of us blogging now is that we will steal each other's thunder from time to time.

I'm LOVING my piano lessons! I'm currently working on (don't know if this will mean anything to anybody) Schubert's Impromptu in E flat major http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9b4-UfyxLs (an eight year old! Oh man, I should just give up!), Liszt's Liebestraume #3, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVZ0WO2Is-g and Chopin's Revolutionary Etude. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq_ea5RgvOI&feature=related I am soooooooo biting off more than I can chew! (I nearly always do). Oh well, it's fun. It will probably take me 20 years at least to be able to play these up to tempo.

I'm planning which races I'll do once I'm unpregnant and can actually run again. The problem is that I'll have to start practically from scratch. I can't run at present, The whole broken rib thing threw me off, and now I'm too far along. Some women can run through the whole pregnancy, but every time I've been pregnant, I've had to give it up around 5 months along. I get pains in my tummy, so I have to stop. I'm not sitting around though, I still torture myself on a regular basis, just in other ways. I go up and down my stairs as fast as I can maintain (at present isn't much more than a walk) for 40 minutes, or I ride my bike which is in the house on a trainer. Any who, I didn't want to go on about that. Lets just say that I'll have to work hard as soon as I'm allowed.

Justice is becoming quite the little pal for me. It's just he and me during the day. He's such a little parrot that it cracks me up. He knows my whole daily grooming routine and always wants to do everything I do. He sticks his finger in my contact case after I do, and "puts his 'eyes' in;" he puts deodorant on, lotion on his legs, I pretend to put toner on a cotton swab for him, and he puts that on, he puts on moisturizer on too. He puts make-up on with me. Today he even got the mouse can out for me when I was drying my hair. I use just a tiny bit to tame my baby hairs that want to stick straight up in the front. I know Bruce is going to worry that he'll turn into a sissy or a cross dresser or something, but he's just imitating. It's funny.

Spring weather is finally giving us a bit of a taste! I am sooooo happy about that. I had about 20 more things to ramble on about, but this is getting too long already, so I'll just save them for later.

A Few Recent Silly Things From My Children

1) Does He Actually Think That is Where They Belong, Or Is He The Reason That They Always End Up Lost?:

I just found Justice shoving all of the remote controls as far under the couch as he could get them.


2) Lydia Expounds The Rules For Having Dessert Type Things To Her Younger Siblings:

"After you've eaten your breakfast, then you can have something that tastes good."


3) Mark Telling Me About A Substitute Teacher That He Thought Was Wonderful:

"... and we didn't learn anything!!"


4) I Can't Think of Anything From Ross From the Past Couple of Days, So I'll Tell You an Oldie, But a Goody :

Ross, upon meeting his best friend's (who is of mixed descent) mother's then fiancee asks him
"So, are you the one that Noelle says is made of chocolate?"

There is No Place High Enough in my House

The Matches! They were on the tippy top shelf. He got them down and was singing "Happy Birthday to you"
Here he is going for the cookies on top of the cabinets.

Hmm... What Does This Mean?

I was having a bit of a lie in this morning. (Yes, sleeping till 8am is a lie in for me). Aside, Bruce just asked me to email "the salsa recipe" to him at work so he can give it to a guy named Jose! Wow, it must really be good stuff if a guy named Jose is asking for it. Is that racist? Sorry. And BTW, I can't take credit for the recipe, someone gave it to us. It does make wonderful salsa though. Anyway, the kids are having another snow day today. (We've had quite a few this year! And incidentally, Ross is one of the few weird kids that doesn't particularly like that. Bruce made the mistake of telling the kids that they have to make snow days up at the end of the year, so now Ross slightly rues each one. I vaguely knew about having to make them up, as a kid. But I never had enough foresight to care much.) Wow, am I side track lady today? Back to my original story. The kids are off of school, so I stayed up a bit late last night, and was making up for it this morning. Chloe (our dog) came in and woke me up, as she often does, whining to go outside. I usually don't mind this, she needs to go potty. We all know how uncomfortable it can be to have to go really bad. But this is what got me: I got up to let her out, and walked past Bruce, who was sitting on the couch watching TV! Why didn't that dumb dog ask him to let her out? No, she came in and woke me up. What does this say about our "pack" as Cesar Malone would say? Interestingly enough, I still went straight into the kitchen and put food into her bowl, after I let her outside. I'm such a push-over! I can remember many a morning (back when we had a cat) when I'd wake up to a dog whining at me to go out, a cat yowling at me to be fed, a baby doing the same, and three other children that needed to be gotten up to get ready for school. Am I not delegating enough? How will my children learn responsibility?